THE SPORTY

This is a delicious summer time beverage enjoyed for centuries by our people. It is especially popular in the "porch culture" of Southeast Portland. The ingredients will only set you back about $3.50, and you'll be having a ball in no time. The Sporty is not for the faint of heart and mind though, it is a powerful beverage that will bring you enlightenment!

As you drink your Sporty, honor Saint Loren of Detroit, who introduced this beverage to the congregation during her mission work.

Ingredients

• 1 40oz of Pabst Blue Ribbon
• 1 Sparks Noir (black label)
• 1 healthy dose of curiosity

Drink 1/2 of the 40oz of Pabst Blue Ribbon. Next, pour the Sparks Noir into the 40oz bottle. Allow ample time for the two liquids to combine and settle. Drink it down. Enjoy a second, or even third Sporty if you think you can handle it!